Vanity and Pride

 VANITY is having a false picture of self. That one is better than others, more right than others, more talented or better talented than others.

PRIDE is the defense of this false picture true of self by fighting, running, or blaming others. Therefore, by becoming a victim of others who are victimizers. 

SELF ESTEEM is a synonym of vanity.

INDIVIDUALITY is the expression of X in each individual form of Life, for instance, talents. 

SELF RESPECT is recognizing what I am, where I am, what’s going on here, and what I can do. This needs no defense. It is my (or one) way of saying THANK YOU.

In the event that vanity and pride has died, vanished or disappeared individuality and Self respect is what remains. 

There is a little opportunity for individuality and Self respect to be manifested as long as there is vanity and pride.  

The ultimate expression of vanity is the belief that “I” can figure out what is right, what is good, what ought to be, what I need, and what you need. This opens the door to every demon in hell (all the not-I’s) to give you the answers to what is right, what is wrong, what is good, what is bad, what ought to be, what ought not to be, what I need, what you need, how the future will be and why it is that way. The only catch is they give two answers directly opposed to each other, A & B. This is experienced as confusion, depression, worry, anxiety, anger, guilt, fear, insecurity and leads one to look under rocks trying to find the ultimate answer. In as much as one continually gets two answers this is experiencing HELL. THIS IS HELL.

From notes

 SUGGESTION 

It is suggested that what we like to do and want to do is dangerous and immoral.

It is suggested that what we do not want to do or like we SHOULD want to do and MUST do.

The really truly dangerous is never mentioned.

What you like and want is PROHIBITED.

I am 100% of the time subject to 100% of suggestion. We have a weak spot here. Your weakness can become your greatest strength. Be aware of it, listen all the time, do not get caught up in it. You are strong when you are aware.

From talk 7/14/79

 Question: what is the difference between Vanity and Pride?

Answer: Vanity is having a false picture of ourselves, most especially as being a victim, and so Pride is defending our false picture of self.

Vanity is having a false picture of self.

The most common form of Vanity is that I’m so important that everybody in the worlds been picking on me, and therefore I’m a victim, and then we defend that to the death. That’s pride.

Vanity is having a false picture of self, and pride is defending that false picture as being factual. 

From notes 1962/1963

 Blaming-an attempt to escape responsibility for self.

The only time a thing is a problem is when I make it important.

Conflict is the problem—not the fact that I am annoyed by something, but the fact that I should NOT be annoyed.

Question: What is the delineation between responsibility and duty? Also obligation?

Answer: responsibility is something you have FOR YOURSELF whether you like it or not. You took it on when you drew your first breath and you cannot get out of it.

Duty is something you can take on and you can put down. Our duties never bother us if we realize this. When you gave birth to children took on a duty to see after their welfare. You could put down the duty by having them adopted out, but you probably would not. Most of us do not want to put down our duties.

When you decide to take charge of how happy your children are, of making them,’happier’ you take false responsibility. This is interference. You may see to their welfare, but not their happiness. You cannot think for them.

Obligation is another word for duty.

By your own sense of well being you take up duties. But you have no responsibility for anyone else and when you think you do you are confused. You then become a nuisance. If I blame you for my unhappiness, I am denying my responsibility—and if I try to be responsible for your happiness I am taking up a duty that does not belong to me.

Addiction part 1

 All those who spend their time working with people problems sooner or later recognize that the whole human problem of misery is the problem of addiction.

Everyone is, of course aware of addiction in cases of drug addiction, alcohol addiction, nicotine addiction. As serious as these addictions are, they are merely the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. Most addictions aren’t recognized by the person addicted, their friends nor family, nor society as a whole, nor by the people-serving professions. 

First let there be consideration of what addiction is, how it may be recognized. Addiction is when something is craved and a justification is found to justify the craving. The person will go to great lengths to gratify it, and it must be repeated constantly. The person so addicted never seems to recognize that they are addicted; it’s just something that’s enjoyed, just human nature, etc., etc.

Addiction can be recognized by the objective observer by simply seeing that there is a constant pattern to the person’s activity. It can be easily be seen that the person is continually using the gratification for their addiction with all their reserves, their health, their health, their peace of mind, and in the end with their life. 

Now for some addictions not usually recognized as addictions but which fit all their criteria of addiction. Please note that all of these have the same signs of addiction as do alcohol and drugs.

ATTENTION 

Just look about to see how many spend all their resources, their energy, their time, then neglect their family, their business and their health in their attempt to gratify the addiction to attention.

PLAYING BIG SHOT

Same as above.

BEING A VICTIM 

Just look; no matter what’s going on the person proves self to be a victim, repeating life situations wherein they are beaten, abused, mistreated, frustrated. When one has certain emotions, corresponding hormones are produced in the body, and one becomes addicted to the presence of the hormones—plainly addicted.

COMPLAINING 

Same as above.The person finds all kinds of things to complain about while saying”I’m not complaining, BUT….”

FAULT FINDING 

Same as being a victim.

EATING DISORDERS 

Same as attention. Addiction to dieting, fasting, eating. (I’m a victim of food”)

SELF CONDEMNATION 

A variation of the Attention and Victim syndromes.

INFERIORITY FEELING 

Same as self condemnation; a variation of the justification.

DISCRIMINATION SYNDROME 

A common variation of the Victim addiction. “I’m discriminated against because of sex, race, religion, occupation,”etc. etc.

DISTRACTION 

Must have constant distraction, noise, music, sex as entertainment, taste for some substance. The start of most chemical addiction. 

WORK

Attention, Victim, and complaining. “It all depends on me.”

EXERCISE 

Combination of getting attention and addiction to the presence chemical changes in the body produced by intense activity.

BEING SICK

Combination of Attention and Victim.

This could go on with enough material for a textbook but this enough for the present.

Now what can be done about it?

Before the person addicted can do anything about the misery producing situation, there must be recognition that one is addicted. This is the first step. Without the recognition, nothing can be done. Once it is recognized by the person addicted, real work can be done very quickly. But without that recognition, nothing can be done. X

Addiction part two

 To understand addiction it necessary to have a working knowledge of adaptation in the human. If, for instance, one takes into the body a noxious substance on a continuing basis, the first attempt of the living organism is to eliminate the substance by vomiting, extra excretion, rapid oxidation. However, if the substance is taken repeatedly, the living organism adapts by creating an antidote, not only when the substance is taken in, but when the substance is expected. 

Now the need for the substance is required by the body to restore balance to the antidote. This produces the craving and the compulsion to the substance. This is addiction.

The same process works for internal secretions, hormones produced in the body in response to emotional states, resulting in constant repetition of the behavior patterns regardless of circumstances. There are far more persons addicted to internal secretions than there are persons addicted to substances from outside the body. 

All addictions lowers the well-being of the person and the natural ability to enjoy just living. As stated before, the recognition that one is addicted is the start toward freedom. No doubt it is easier to to be aware of addiction to substances from outside than it is to recognize that one is addicted to internally produced hormones, such as those produced when one is angry or worried, or anxious, or complaining, or disgusted, or finding fault, etc. etc.

One can remember that the human was never designed to live in a state of distress, but rather to be in a state of joy and thanksgiving for being alive and have the inborn ability to adapt to changing conditions, and to have a flood of energy to fight or run when in a dangerous situation.

However, conditioning has resulted in many of us seeing almost all situations as dangerous and the ability to to imagine things has given the conditioned person many situations that only exist in thought, to be in an emergency-feeling state. Further it seems a to be that they are entitled to have all wants gratified at once, or else feel that they are being mistreated and denied their natural right of being totally non disturbed; this leads to all kinds of addictions. X

From notes

 The world is populated by infants in grown bodies with technical educations.

UNANSWERABLE QUESTIONS:

How do I know that what I do is the RIGHT thing?

Did I do the right thing? 

Am I doing the right thing?

Will I do the right thing?

Before you can be in charge of anything, you must be free TO—-

If I am trying to be free from something, I am trying to alter my nature. I am free to have any experience which is presented to me to have. If I try to be free FROM anything I am trying to alter myself. If I want to know freedom, I must be free to…

IF I AM FREE TO BE CONDITIONED, THEN I AM NO LONGER CONDITIONED.

Start with freedom and you will end with freedom. “I am free to choose what is to my advantage at the moment”. I am perfectly free to have conflict. I am free to NOT WANT at the same time that I WANT.