Goal seeking vs Purpose pt.5

Now integration is not something one gains. It is not something to become integrated. Integration is our natural state and it is what remains when we stop the disintegration process. The disintegration  process is the struggle towards an illusion that this goal would make me happy - that when I'm finally integrated, I will be what I should be. I've eliminated all the various things in myself and only got the good ones actualized. But do you truly know what all the good ones are? Isn't that more conditioning and goals? So then we feel we have to eliminate "A" and strengthen "B".  And of course, whenever we eliminate one little "A" (well, we think we have) that not-I family says, "Your not going to do that to me" and it comes up in other ways.

So then we have this endless struggle for what? Struggle towards and illusion. An illusion that does not exist. An illusion that is in the future and does not exist right now. Can you be peaceful right now?

(If I could only learn it)

You're not trying to learn anything today. You're not trying to improve yourself.  You're not trying to change anything to fit your goal, then you don't have to struggle with it, you see, it's all gone. The disintegrating process is the struggle towards an illusion - the illusion of the ideal or the goal.

My dear friend Lynn used to have a goal to have all her children happy, right? I used to go by and she'd be in a turmoil - she'd be all torn up. I'd say, "What's the matter?" She'd say, "Well this child didn't seem happy this morning, and that one did the same." I said, "Lynn, all your wanting is that all the kids line up and grin like Cheshire cats all day, is that right?" When you quit buggin' them they start grinning a little bit. I don't know whether they do or not--but they get along better when you don't insist that they be happy. But she thought all three of them had to be happy and content every moment of the day. Mama had an ideal for them. And Mama is miserable trying to achieve the ideal. When the kids want to be upset and kick around and have a little fun gritching and chasing ideals, that's part of their growing up, huh? But it's so easy to fall into "everything has to be ideal, all the kids have to sit and grin like those Cheshire cats".

(So as the Cheshire cat, what she really wants is for them to be what she calls good)



to be continued..